*Update: I decided to change the title of this article due to the fact that Jesse Eisenberg filmed his role for "Camp Hell" in 2007 as a favor for a friend. Therefore, it was not stunt casting, but an inflated cameo.
Note:
Note:
Before I begin this list, I have
to lay down a few rules to narrow my selection. First of all, I am restricting my selections to feature films. I will also only include
small roles that were used to market the movie.
Top Ten Glorified Celebrity Film Cameos
With the unanticipated release of “The Other Woman” approaching,
20th Century Fox continues to show off Nicki Minaj’s bit role in a
lot of the advertising. Some trailers on YouTube even have her name top-billed
in the title, as if it stars her. Considering that she received no such
top-billing on the poster or even her name listed in the trailer, her role is
most likely an example of an overblown cameo. For as long as I can remember, studios
have had this habit of casting well-known celebrities to give their movie more
marketing credibility. Audiences are fooled into thinking that their favorite
celebrities are starring in the movie, but when they actually see it, said
celebrities are only on screen for a couple short scenes. This edition of “Grab
Bag” will go over the most obvious examples of this in recent years.
10. Liam Neeson – “Battleship”
Sure, Universal made the “genius”
decision of casting Rihanna as a naval officer, but at least she had a decent amount
of scenes. Liam Neeson, however was only in the movie for about five minutes.
This would be forgivable if it was a surprise cameo, but he was prominently
featured in the film’s trailers. There are even reports of tour guides at
Universal Studios Hollywood stating that the movie starred Liam Neeson. Unfortunately
for Universal, the stinted performances of Taylor Kitsch, Rihanna, and Brooklyn
Decker weren’t enough to salvage the film from flopping at the box office. Just
goes to show that borderline false-advertising doesn’t always lead to more bums in the seats.
9. Fan Bingbing – “Iron Man 3”
Speaking of which, there was a considerable amount of hype about the Chinese version of “Iron Man 3.” Ever since it was announced that there would be exclusive scenes with Chinese actors included to appeal to the lucrative Chinese film market, many people wondered what those scenes would involve. When it was announced that Chinese actress/fashion icon Fan Bingbing would be appearing in the Chinese cut, I’m sure many international fans were more than ecstatic. Unfortunately, not only did her scene last the time of a hiccup, but her character wasn’t even given a name. This attempt at pandering was so obvious, not even the Chinese audience it was intended for cared for it.
8. Chris Brown – "Think Like a Man"
To be fair, Chris Brown was perfect for his role in this film. Here he plays an unlikable womanizer that ditches Megan Goode’s character after a one-night-stand. On the other hand, besides his scene that was prominently featured in the trailer, he has two other appearances that each last about ten seconds long. Basically after his first scene, he literally quickly walks by Megan Goode in a couple of other scenes and gets her name wrong. It is sort of funny, but it is nevertheless a bloated cameo, and one that the studio implied to be a bigger role in the advertising. Unlike the next few entries on this list, at least he didn't receive top-billing.
7. Brad Pitt – “12 Years a Slave”
Okay, before you freak out, let me say that “12 Years a Slave” was my absolute favorite
film of 2013, and Brad Pitt did a fine job in his role. However, in terms of
the marketing for this film, his role was bloated to the extreme. While his
character does play a pivotal role, he has about one scene in the whole film
that lasted less than ten minutes. What’s even worse is that in some countries
like Italy, he was not only given top-billing, but his face took up most of the controversial poster (seen above). His giant floating head barely left any room for the film’s true star,
Chiwetel Ejiofor. Again, Brad Pitt is a fine actor and “12 Years a Slave” is a
fantastic film, but this example of a glorified cameo is quite obvious.
6. Chow Yun-Fat – “Pirates of The Caribbean: At World’s End”
While the third installment of Disney’s “Pirates of the Caribbean”
series had a bizarre cameo from Keith Richards, at least Disney had the decency
to have him as a surprise appearance. It wasn’t exactly a well-kept secret, but they
didn’t deliberately use his name to promote the movie. Famous Hong Kong actor
Chow Yun-Fat is another story. In what I’m guessing was an attempt to appeal to
the Chinese market, Disney gave Chow Yun-Fat a nice spot in the film’s
marketing, top-billing his name left and right. In the actual film though, his
character pops in for a couple of scenes before leaving. This likely disappointed
his fans that were excited to see him add some more kung-fu-flair to a
swashbuckling adventure. It doesn’t seem that Disney learned their lesson either,
as they would later try to pull this off in the Chinese version
of “Iron Man 3" (see number nine).
5. Lil’ Wayne- “Hurricane Season”
Originally intended for theaters, this Forrest Whittaker post-Hurricane-Katrina-sports-drama
was thrown onto DVD shelves in early 2010. In addition to Lil’ Wayne’s stage
name featured at the top of the DVD cover, various hip-hop websites like
allhiphop.com reported on the rapper’s film debut with much enthusiasm. Not
only does his total screen time amount to about two minutes, but his
performance was absolutely baffling. Considering his apparent affinity for
cough syrup and weed, it wouldn’t surprise me if he was high while the camera
was on. Indeed it may be amusing to some, but his part just isn’t big enough to
prevent this from being another brief appearance disguised as a lead role.
4. Pitbull- “Epic”
Indeed it is only a voice-only role, but the fact that he is
in this movie is completely random. This character was not only featured in the
trailers and the poster, but Pitbull himself received top billing on each of
them. The sheer amount of screen time he had in the film’s marketing seems to
be longer than the actual film. Not to mention that despite playing a toad,
Pitbull essentially plays himself in this movie. His character, Bufo is a
smooth-talking tough guy that loves parties. This is pretty much the basis of
every one of Pitbull’s songs. Despite this character having his own poster and
behind-the-scenes featurette, he is in the movie for two short scenes, never to
be seen again afterwards and barely contributes to the overall story.
3. Nicki Minaj – "Ice Age: Continental Drift"
Ah, poor Nicki. She not only inspred this list, but is on it with an entirely different role. This example is essentially the same case as Pitbull in “Epic.”
Her character was featured in all of the trailers and she received top billing
in both the trailer and the poster. It’s even made by the same studio, Blue
Sky, which makes one wonder if they have a habit for this kind of thing. Here, Nicki
Minaj plays a mammoth with a bad attitude. Strangely enough, she is a member of
a gang of mischievous mammoths whose leader is played by fellow rapper, Drake.
At the very least, Drake has a relatively significant role in the movie and
actually has a decent amount of lines. Nicki, however, has about three lines.
She had so few lines, that I could still remember “Gross! It’s that weirdo who chills
with possums!”
2. Jesse Eisenberg: “Camp Hell”
This example was so bad, that Eisenberg himself sued its distributor Lionsgate for $3 million dollars in damages. Anybody who is a
regular visitor of Redbox is likely to have seen Eisenberg’s face featured
prominently on the cover of the film’s DVD (seen above). In fact, despite how small his role
was, his was the ONLY face featured on the DVD cover. Fresh off his fame from
films like “Zombieland” and his Oscar-Nominated performance in “The Social
Network,” Lionsgate took full advantage of Eisenberg’s mere cameo appearance in
this low-budget horror film that nobody’s heard about. Luckily, the people who
decided to mislead the consumers were too stupid to get away with this.
1. Kim Kardashian – "Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor"
After his failed attempt to defend his casting of the
unlikable Kim Kardashian, Tyler Perry’s career took yet another beating with
what many describe as the most desperate attempt at stunt casting in
recent years. Besides this film, Kardashian has only appeared in the horrendous
2008 spoof film, “Disaster Movie.” However, her role in “Temptation” is even
worse because the movie actually takes itself seriously. With all of the
instances of marital issues, unfaithfulness, and domestic violence in the
trailer, Tyler Perry shoots himself in the foot by having Kim Kardashian’s name
appear next to a smug-looking Kardashian smiling at the audience. Even the addition of the Eminem and Rihanna
song “Love the Way You Lie” couldn’t save Kardashian’s appearance in the
trailer to be laughed at by countless moviegoers. She isn’t even in the movie
for that long, even if her awful delivery of Perry’s terrible dialogue makes it
feel like hours. Kardashian would eventually go on to win a Razzie for Worst
Supporting Actress for this role; a well-deserved ending to one of the most overblown cameos ever.
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