Friday, December 11, 2015

The Ridiculous Six Is the Worst Thing to Happen to Netflix Since Qwikster.


From the same streaming service that brought audiences acclaimed shows like House of Cards and Orange is the New Black comes The Ridiculous Six. This "comedic" western is definitive proof that Netflix is just as capable at producing terrible products as other Hollywood studios.

What could possibly be said about Adam Sandler's recent live-action efforts that hasn't already been said? The product placement is over-the-top, the cameos are unbelievably forced, the toilet humor is juvenile, and there seems to be practically no effort put into their screenplays. All of these (except the product placement) can be applied to The Ridiculous Six, but somehow it's even worse than all of Sander's "efforts" combined. It may even be worse than Jack and Jill and Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star.

This "movie" stars Adam Sandler as a hero named White Knife, a white man who was raised by Native Americans after his mother was killed. After his father is kidnapped, White Knife must go on a bank-robbing quest with his five half-bothers to rescue him.

What better way to start my numerous gripes with this film than with Sandler's character? White Knife is a Gary-Stu type character with super powers and a tragic backstory. He has absolutely no flaws and is thus an incredibly boring protagonist. It doesn't help that Sandler's performance seems like it was fueled by NyQuil. Say what you want about his annoying characters (such as his character in That's My Boy), but at least you had the sense that he was trying. Here, he plays White Knife as dull as possible, leaving for absolutely no laughs.

The rest of the cast (for the most part) at least try to give lively performances, but they are all let down by a "screenplay" that isn't funny for even a fraction of a second. Almost all of the characters are bland, goofy stereotypes that are so detached from reality, that they aren't the least bit relatable. Rob Schneider plays a Mexican stereotype who's only character trait is being a stereotype with an incontinent donkey. Taylor Lautner plays a dimwitted hillbilly whose only character trait is being stupid. Steve Zahn plays a character whose only trait is having a crazy eye. The list just goes on and on.

What's even more egregious is the fact that the many Native American actors (and even some white actors with dark makeup on) in this film are stuck playing bland stereotypes whose only character traits are speaking broken English. Sure, the initial reports of dozens of Native American actors walking off the set were a bit exaggerated (only about four actors actually walked out). However, the ones who did had every right to; in a time when Hollywood is trying to build more diverse stars, this film does absolutely no favors to these actors who could be showing off their talents in something better.

Dumb comedy can work if it's done right. Dumb and Dumber worked because the characters had their own distinct personalities and goals. They were relatable, connecting to our inner dumb sides with lively personalities and well-timed jokes. The Ridiculous Six, however, is so lazy in it's execution, that its just boring to sit through.


As a matter of fact, the biggest problem I had with this film is that it's just boring. When the jokes aren't horrendously juvenile grossout gags like donkey diarrhea or someone trying to gouge their own eye out, they just fall flat. In one scene, White Knife throws a knife into a water jug. Nick Nolte's character knocks the knife out, and White Knife throws the knife into the same hole to plug it up. So what's the joke? Is it that White Knife is skilled with a knife? Because that isn't a joke.

Some jokes are even repeated more than once in an attempt to fill up a 2-hour runtime. One throwaway gag involves a Native American toddler holding a Tomahawk. About ten minutes later, what seems to be the same clip is shown again. If they already did this visual gag once, why do it again? Were they that desperate to eat time?

Other jokes are blatantly explained, which is a common theme I've noticed with Sandler's recent movies. In one badly-timed scene, a villainous character's head is knocked off while his body is still firing his gun. The character shoots his gun at his still smiling disembodied head, to which Terry Crews' character says: "He's giving himself six bullets to the head!" Taylor Lautner's character then says: "And he's still smiling!" The Joker said it best: if you have to explain the joke, there is no joke.

Humor is subjective, but this kind of humor so obviously lacks effort, that it's hard to believe that anybody who isn't drunk would find it funny. You could tell that Adam Sandler cranked out this screenplay to fill up his four-movie deal with Netflix.

The rest of the script is just as lazy as the jokes are. Many scenes like one involving a baseball game just go on and on while providing almost nothing to the plot. Other scenes involve characters just spilling out exposition from their mouths in an attempt to develop their bland characters. The beginning of the movie features Adam Sandler and Nick Nolte's characters explaining their relationship and their past. Since their characters are so bland, there's no reason to even care. Adam Sandler has written some abysmal screenplays in the past, but this one really outdoes itself.

After giving audiences such excellent original films as A Very Murray Christmas and Beasts of no Nation, The Ridiculous Six is an absolute embarrassment to Netflix. Not only that, but it may even be the worst Happy Madison movie ever made. Jack and Jill at least had a surreal, committed performance from Al Pacino. It was completely undermined by the awful script, but it was something interesting to look at. Bucky Larson's humor was as forced and unfunny as it gets, but at least Nick Swardson gave some effort as the lead actor.

The only positive thing about Ridiculous Six is the high production value. The film has a crisp look to it, with some great settings and art design. However, the same can be said for most Hollywood productions with big budgets. Micro-budget movies like Birdemic and Manos: the Hands of Fate may be technically worse than The Ridiculous Six, but at least I could laugh at those in retrospective. The Ridiculous Six is a boring, laugh-free tragedy that may be not only the worst Happy Madison movie I've ever seen, but the worst movie I've ever seen...period.

Hopefully The Hateful Eight will wash the bad taste of this out of my mouth with a quality ensemble western.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Parents Need to Calm down About The Good Dinosaur.




WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS.

The Good Dinosaur, while not as critically well-received as Inside Out, has still received a generally positive response from critics and audiences. The film, which was released last week, currently holds an "A" rating on Cinemascore as well as a 76% on Rotten Tomatoes. The general consensus being that it is a predictable yet pleasing adventure for people of all ages. On the other hand, not everyone was pleased by it.

British newspaper The Daily Mail recently reported that Pixar's newest film is facing social media backlash from parents. Several parents claimed that their children were left "in tears" from the film's violent scenes, as well as its depiction of death.

A scene where the main characters Spot and Arlo hallucinate after eating fermented berries didn't sit well with parents either.

Such comments include these on Twitter:



NFL Journalist Rich Eisen even tweeted:













On Common Sense Media, a content-advisory website targeted to parents, several more parents were disappointed in the film's perceived inappropriate content.

The following are quotes from user reviews on Common Sense Media:

My 6-year-old said "Well at least someone didn't die, " and then "Nope, I was wrong." There's lots of violence throughout the movie with various injuries, animals getting attacked and eaten, and near-drownings. My 5-year-old announced "This whole movie is terrifying." She was right!

Two of our children in our group were crying. When the main character was hallucinating from the fermented fruit, we decided to collect our belongings and head for the exit. What was Disney thinking? I will no longer trust Disney and blindly take my children to their movie without closely checking the movie plot first. Is there a hotline to request a refund for these tickets?

The movie is not bitter-sweet. Rather, it fixates on the tragic. It seems to almost revel in it. I didn't appreciate that. More importantly, neither did my 6-year-old (3 months shy of 7). You may want to think twice before taking younger kids to see this movie!


One has to wonder where these parents were when Mufasa was trampled to death in The Lion King, or when Littlefoot's mother died in The Land Before Time. What about when Pepe Le Pew attempted suicide in the short For Scent-imental Reasons? Why didn't those moments result in this much outrage? The answer is simple: online social media hadn't been invented yet.



It's easy to suggest that "parents these days" are too over-protective of their kids, and that kids are coddled way more than they should be. While there's no objective way to prove that suggestion, it's easy to see what would cause someone to think that.

We live in an age where the internet is used by people of all ages and social classes. It is quite simple for parents who are more sensitive than others to get on Twitter and slam Pixar for upsetting their children while the more passive parents move on with their days. Unfortunately, this results in more and more people (including the higher-ups in Hollywood) assuming that "kids movies" should be as tame and sanitized as possible to avoid offending an assumed vocal majority.

Couldn't you just see the same thing happening with The Land Before Time or An American Tale? If Twitter existed in the 80's, there would absolutely be droves of parents complaining about how dark the films are and how upset they made their children.

It is also entirely possible that our internet culture has led to people being more sensitive; as they are more exposed to real-life acts of violence, drugs and sexual activity, some parents may instinctively expect a "kids movie" to be an escape from reality and not expose their children to how harsh the real world is.




Ultimately though, this kind of coddling is honestly not best for the kids. So what if the kids cry during a movie? Exposing children to mature themes is an important part of growing up. Maybe some kid who lost his dad will be able to relate to Arlo's struggle to pick up the slack on the farm and in his life. Perhaps kids will learn a lesson in teamwork from Arlo's initially reluctant friendship with Spot.

Sure, the film is pretty violent at times, but it is rated PG for a reason. Several websites like kidsinmind.com provide content descriptions that can help parents decide if they want their child seeing a certain movie or not. Parents who don't do the research and blame Pixar for their child being upset are simply misguided.

Overall, parents should calm down about The Good Dinosaur's content and absolutely be more open-minded to exposing their kids to more mature "kids movies." Some kids may come out of the theater in tears, but the potential life lessons they could learn should take a much higher priority than misplaced outrage on the internet. And as for the "hallucination" scene, it's highly doubtful that kids are going to start looking for dealers because of a Pixar movie.