Friday, December 11, 2015

The Ridiculous Six Is the Worst Thing to Happen to Netflix Since Qwikster.


From the same streaming service that brought audiences acclaimed shows like House of Cards and Orange is the New Black comes The Ridiculous Six. This "comedic" western is definitive proof that Netflix is just as capable at producing terrible products as other Hollywood studios.

What could possibly be said about Adam Sandler's recent live-action efforts that hasn't already been said? The product placement is over-the-top, the cameos are unbelievably forced, the toilet humor is juvenile, and there seems to be practically no effort put into their screenplays. All of these (except the product placement) can be applied to The Ridiculous Six, but somehow it's even worse than all of Sander's "efforts" combined. It may even be worse than Jack and Jill and Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star.

This "movie" stars Adam Sandler as a hero named White Knife, a white man who was raised by Native Americans after his mother was killed. After his father is kidnapped, White Knife must go on a bank-robbing quest with his five half-bothers to rescue him.

What better way to start my numerous gripes with this film than with Sandler's character? White Knife is a Gary-Stu type character with super powers and a tragic backstory. He has absolutely no flaws and is thus an incredibly boring protagonist. It doesn't help that Sandler's performance seems like it was fueled by NyQuil. Say what you want about his annoying characters (such as his character in That's My Boy), but at least you had the sense that he was trying. Here, he plays White Knife as dull as possible, leaving for absolutely no laughs.

The rest of the cast (for the most part) at least try to give lively performances, but they are all let down by a "screenplay" that isn't funny for even a fraction of a second. Almost all of the characters are bland, goofy stereotypes that are so detached from reality, that they aren't the least bit relatable. Rob Schneider plays a Mexican stereotype who's only character trait is being a stereotype with an incontinent donkey. Taylor Lautner plays a dimwitted hillbilly whose only character trait is being stupid. Steve Zahn plays a character whose only trait is having a crazy eye. The list just goes on and on.

What's even more egregious is the fact that the many Native American actors (and even some white actors with dark makeup on) in this film are stuck playing bland stereotypes whose only character traits are speaking broken English. Sure, the initial reports of dozens of Native American actors walking off the set were a bit exaggerated (only about four actors actually walked out). However, the ones who did had every right to; in a time when Hollywood is trying to build more diverse stars, this film does absolutely no favors to these actors who could be showing off their talents in something better.

Dumb comedy can work if it's done right. Dumb and Dumber worked because the characters had their own distinct personalities and goals. They were relatable, connecting to our inner dumb sides with lively personalities and well-timed jokes. The Ridiculous Six, however, is so lazy in it's execution, that its just boring to sit through.


As a matter of fact, the biggest problem I had with this film is that it's just boring. When the jokes aren't horrendously juvenile grossout gags like donkey diarrhea or someone trying to gouge their own eye out, they just fall flat. In one scene, White Knife throws a knife into a water jug. Nick Nolte's character knocks the knife out, and White Knife throws the knife into the same hole to plug it up. So what's the joke? Is it that White Knife is skilled with a knife? Because that isn't a joke.

Some jokes are even repeated more than once in an attempt to fill up a 2-hour runtime. One throwaway gag involves a Native American toddler holding a Tomahawk. About ten minutes later, what seems to be the same clip is shown again. If they already did this visual gag once, why do it again? Were they that desperate to eat time?

Other jokes are blatantly explained, which is a common theme I've noticed with Sandler's recent movies. In one badly-timed scene, a villainous character's head is knocked off while his body is still firing his gun. The character shoots his gun at his still smiling disembodied head, to which Terry Crews' character says: "He's giving himself six bullets to the head!" Taylor Lautner's character then says: "And he's still smiling!" The Joker said it best: if you have to explain the joke, there is no joke.

Humor is subjective, but this kind of humor so obviously lacks effort, that it's hard to believe that anybody who isn't drunk would find it funny. You could tell that Adam Sandler cranked out this screenplay to fill up his four-movie deal with Netflix.

The rest of the script is just as lazy as the jokes are. Many scenes like one involving a baseball game just go on and on while providing almost nothing to the plot. Other scenes involve characters just spilling out exposition from their mouths in an attempt to develop their bland characters. The beginning of the movie features Adam Sandler and Nick Nolte's characters explaining their relationship and their past. Since their characters are so bland, there's no reason to even care. Adam Sandler has written some abysmal screenplays in the past, but this one really outdoes itself.

After giving audiences such excellent original films as A Very Murray Christmas and Beasts of no Nation, The Ridiculous Six is an absolute embarrassment to Netflix. Not only that, but it may even be the worst Happy Madison movie ever made. Jack and Jill at least had a surreal, committed performance from Al Pacino. It was completely undermined by the awful script, but it was something interesting to look at. Bucky Larson's humor was as forced and unfunny as it gets, but at least Nick Swardson gave some effort as the lead actor.

The only positive thing about Ridiculous Six is the high production value. The film has a crisp look to it, with some great settings and art design. However, the same can be said for most Hollywood productions with big budgets. Micro-budget movies like Birdemic and Manos: the Hands of Fate may be technically worse than The Ridiculous Six, but at least I could laugh at those in retrospective. The Ridiculous Six is a boring, laugh-free tragedy that may be not only the worst Happy Madison movie I've ever seen, but the worst movie I've ever seen...period.

Hopefully The Hateful Eight will wash the bad taste of this out of my mouth with a quality ensemble western.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Parents Need to Calm down About The Good Dinosaur.




WARNING: CONTAINS SPOILERS.

The Good Dinosaur, while not as critically well-received as Inside Out, has still received a generally positive response from critics and audiences. The film, which was released last week, currently holds an "A" rating on Cinemascore as well as a 76% on Rotten Tomatoes. The general consensus being that it is a predictable yet pleasing adventure for people of all ages. On the other hand, not everyone was pleased by it.

British newspaper The Daily Mail recently reported that Pixar's newest film is facing social media backlash from parents. Several parents claimed that their children were left "in tears" from the film's violent scenes, as well as its depiction of death.

A scene where the main characters Spot and Arlo hallucinate after eating fermented berries didn't sit well with parents either.

Such comments include these on Twitter:



NFL Journalist Rich Eisen even tweeted:













On Common Sense Media, a content-advisory website targeted to parents, several more parents were disappointed in the film's perceived inappropriate content.

The following are quotes from user reviews on Common Sense Media:

My 6-year-old said "Well at least someone didn't die, " and then "Nope, I was wrong." There's lots of violence throughout the movie with various injuries, animals getting attacked and eaten, and near-drownings. My 5-year-old announced "This whole movie is terrifying." She was right!

Two of our children in our group were crying. When the main character was hallucinating from the fermented fruit, we decided to collect our belongings and head for the exit. What was Disney thinking? I will no longer trust Disney and blindly take my children to their movie without closely checking the movie plot first. Is there a hotline to request a refund for these tickets?

The movie is not bitter-sweet. Rather, it fixates on the tragic. It seems to almost revel in it. I didn't appreciate that. More importantly, neither did my 6-year-old (3 months shy of 7). You may want to think twice before taking younger kids to see this movie!


One has to wonder where these parents were when Mufasa was trampled to death in The Lion King, or when Littlefoot's mother died in The Land Before Time. What about when Pepe Le Pew attempted suicide in the short For Scent-imental Reasons? Why didn't those moments result in this much outrage? The answer is simple: online social media hadn't been invented yet.



It's easy to suggest that "parents these days" are too over-protective of their kids, and that kids are coddled way more than they should be. While there's no objective way to prove that suggestion, it's easy to see what would cause someone to think that.

We live in an age where the internet is used by people of all ages and social classes. It is quite simple for parents who are more sensitive than others to get on Twitter and slam Pixar for upsetting their children while the more passive parents move on with their days. Unfortunately, this results in more and more people (including the higher-ups in Hollywood) assuming that "kids movies" should be as tame and sanitized as possible to avoid offending an assumed vocal majority.

Couldn't you just see the same thing happening with The Land Before Time or An American Tale? If Twitter existed in the 80's, there would absolutely be droves of parents complaining about how dark the films are and how upset they made their children.

It is also entirely possible that our internet culture has led to people being more sensitive; as they are more exposed to real-life acts of violence, drugs and sexual activity, some parents may instinctively expect a "kids movie" to be an escape from reality and not expose their children to how harsh the real world is.




Ultimately though, this kind of coddling is honestly not best for the kids. So what if the kids cry during a movie? Exposing children to mature themes is an important part of growing up. Maybe some kid who lost his dad will be able to relate to Arlo's struggle to pick up the slack on the farm and in his life. Perhaps kids will learn a lesson in teamwork from Arlo's initially reluctant friendship with Spot.

Sure, the film is pretty violent at times, but it is rated PG for a reason. Several websites like kidsinmind.com provide content descriptions that can help parents decide if they want their child seeing a certain movie or not. Parents who don't do the research and blame Pixar for their child being upset are simply misguided.

Overall, parents should calm down about The Good Dinosaur's content and absolutely be more open-minded to exposing their kids to more mature "kids movies." Some kids may come out of the theater in tears, but the potential life lessons they could learn should take a much higher priority than misplaced outrage on the internet. And as for the "hallucination" scene, it's highly doubtful that kids are going to start looking for dealers because of a Pixar movie.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

In Defense of Jeremy Renner's Wage Gap Comments.

You can't say anything without catching heat for it nowadays. That's the first thing I thought when I heard about how the media handled Jeremy Renner's latest comments on the gender-wage issue in Hollywood.

All over the internet, I've seen headlines like these:




Now the first thing you may be thinking is: "what did Jeremy Renner say that was so offensive?" Well, in order to truly understand a story, one must look beyond the headlines.

In an interview with Business Insider, Renner was questioned on the topic of how women in Hollywood (and in general) are often paid less than men for the same jobs. Here is the exact blurb from Business Insider that is causing the controversy:

Business Insider asked Jeremy Renner, who also starred in "American Hustle," if he would also be willing to negotiate alongside his female co-stars on future projects. He also was paid more than Adams and Lawrence for his role in the film, according to a Sony email leaked during the hack on the company. 
"That's not my job," Renner said, while taking part in an intimate press day on Tuesday for the new "One Life/Live Them" campaign he's doing for Rémy Martin Cognac. "I don't know contracts and money and all that sort of stuff," Renner went on to say. Adding he fully supports actresses receiving equal pay as actors, he said he's more focused on his craft than what everyone is making. 
"I'm a performer and I know human behavior. When it comes to that sort of stuff I let other people deal with that," said the two-time Oscar nominee. "I do what I'm good at, that's what I focus on."

It should be noted that actors and actresses are rarely involved in the negotiating process and leave the deals to agents, managers, and lawyers.

The headline of the piece is: "Jeremy Renner, who starred in 'American Hustle' with Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Lawrence, says it's 'not my job' to help female co-stars negotiate higher salaries." A long headline indeed, but it certainly does reflect the piece's subject matter...right? Actually, no, it doesn't.



When Jeremy Renner said "that's not my job," he was referring to the job of deciding how much actors should get paid. He's referring to the "contracts and money,"which he feels that he doesn't have enough knowledge of to actively support equal pay. For many to imply that he said such a blunt statement like "not my job" in regards to supporting equality for women based on the headline alone is simply irresponsible.

According to the piece itself, Renner actually supports the idea that women should receive equal pay for the same job. He's just more interested in focusing on his career instead of actively participating in a campaign that he feels he isn't fit to support. Perhaps he doesn't have the time for participating in these campaigns, or perhaps he would rather focus on other things in his life.

It's not like Renner doesn't care about helping any important causes either; he has donated his time to several charities in the past. Just to prove this, here is a list of charities he has given to according to the website Look to the Stars:
  • American Foundation for AIDS Research
  • Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation
  • DonorsChoose.org
  • Entertainment Industry Foundation
  • Exceptional Minds
  • Feeding America
  • Got Your 6
  • Motion Picture and Television Fund Foundation
  • Sherry Lansing Foundation
  • Stand Up To Cancer
  • The Lourdes Foundation
  • UNICEF

He also participated in Soccer Aid, a British charity event where celebrities play soccer to support the children's charity UNICEF.

.

Complaining that Jeremy Renner isn't interested in womens' rights is like complaining that someone who spends all of their time in a soup kitchen doesn't care about police brutality. Renner isn't going to become a gung-ho activist for equal pay, but that certainly doesn't mean he isn't all for it.

When it comes to sensitive subjects, there are three kinds of people in the world:

1. The trolls who want to offend people.

2. The overly-PC crowd who wants to be offended.

and the one that is often overshadowed on the internet:

3. The people who give calm and honest opinions.

The media is subtly portraying Renner as a member of the first category while twisting his words to enrage the second category. In all honesty though, Renner truly belongs to the third category. He simply wanted to be honest, and the media warped his words to knee-jerk reactions of anger from feminists.

Look, we all know how upsetting the situation is with equal pay for women. Real, hard-working women are being mistreated by clueless executives and not getting the appreciation they deserve. At the same time though, it is important to respect the opinions of others who would rather partake in other activities. Like Renner said, there are many people fighting for equal pay, but that doesn't mean that we should expect every single person to just drop what they're doing and go actively support it. Our time on this Earth is limited, and we have the right to spend it how we want to. The same certainly goes for Jeremy Renner.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

5 Reasons Why I'm Actually Looking Forward to the Last Witch Hunter.




The internet has mixed opinions about The Last Witch Hunter. Admittedly, we have had a lot of misfires with fantasy films over the years. Recent fantasies like Seventh Son, Jupiter Ascending, and I, Frankenstein were poorly received by critics and audiences alike for being bland and repetitive. On the other hand, The Last Witch Hunter looks like something much more worthy of being excited for. While the jury's still out on whether or not it will be good, The Last Witch Hunter (at least for me) still has quite a few elements that make it worth checking out.

1. The visuals are promising.

A movie's visuals don't make it good, but The Last Witch Hunter still looks to have some impressive effects up its sleeves. Unlike other urban fantasy films, this movie won't be strictly limited to a New York City backdrop. Sure, you'll get the city setpieces that come standard with the sub-genre, but you'll also get snowy tundras and ancient forests to break up the monotony.We've seen quite a lot from the trailers: a frozen wasteland,




candle-lit caverns





swarms of cerulean butterflies





and of course, Kaulder's epic flaming sword.





Even if the script doesn't end up living up to the hype, it's easy to expect this film to at least deliver on an aesthetic scale.

2. Breck Eisner is directing.



Breck Eisner is one of those directors that not many people know about, but has certainly shown his talent in previous movies. The 2005 film Sahara, while being a financial failure at the box-office, was still an entertaining and competently-made adventure film that delivered exciting set pieces on a grand scale.





His 2010 film The Crazies, which I still think is one of the better horror films in recent years, showed that Eisner is more than capable of handling a horror film. With a brooding atmosphere and an incredible use of makeup, The Crazies stands as one of the rare examples of a horror remake that was done well.

Having dabbled in both horror and action/adventure, Breck Eisner certainly has the experience to work on a fast-paced supernatural film like The Last Witch Hunter. One can expect him to bring the same thrills he brought to Sahara and The Crazies to his newest movie.

3. Vin Diesel is playing the lead.




Vin Diesel has a certain charm and appeal to him that makes even his worst movies worth watching. His smooth voice and slick delivery make him a perfectly capable leading man, and his likable personality has given him quite a following.


Diesel has a knack for playing the tough-guy-with-a-heart-of-gold that is often difficult to pull off in a performance. In addition to Dominic Toretto in the Fast and Furious movies, he brought equally lovable performances to Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy and the titular character in The Iron Giant. Even though the latter two performances were voice-overs with not that much dialogue, It takes a lot of talent to make a memorable role out of a characters who don't even talk that much.

Based on his previous roles, one can easily be optimistic about his performance in The Last Witch Hunter. Based on the trailers, Diesel seems really into the part, and the character looks to be a badass with a sense of humor. The scene in the trailer where he playfully scares another character trying to take a selfie with him is a good sign that Kaulder won't be a boring fantasy character like Adam in I, Frankenstein. There's a good possibility that Kaulder could end up being another great character to add to Vin Diesel's resume. 

4.The supporting cast is impressive.



Besides Vin Diesel, The Last Witch Hunter has quite a cast. First of all, Lord of the Rings star Elijah Wood is playing an important role as Kaulder's partner. Even after the Lord of the Rings movies, Wood has still managed to impress audiences with his exceptional acting talent. In the 2012 movie Maniac, his performance as a disturbing psychopath even won him some awards. After a hiatus from big Hollywood movies, Wood will hopefully make a triumphant return in The Last Witch Hunter.

Veteran actor Michael Caine will be in The Last Witch Hunter as well, playing the 36th Dolan. Despite being in the business for over half a decade, Caine's career is still absolutely huge. Over the past five years alone, Caine has appeared in such hit movies as Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Now You See Me, Interstellar, and Kingsman: The Secret Service, and has delivered an excellent performance in each film. With all of these big names attached to The Last Witch Hunter, it's quite easy to be excited for it.

5. There is passion behind the project.




Vin Diesel is no stranger to fantasy, as he is a massive fan of the game Dungeons and Dragons. He wrote the foreward to 30 Years of Adventure: A Celebration of Dungeons & Dragons, and recently revealed to Hitfix that the game inspired him to take the lead role in The Last Witch Hunter. In fact, he says that he had a discussion with the film's writer (who is also a huge D&D fan) about a character that Diesel created for the game.


Diesel said to Hitfix:

About four years ago I met with a writer name Cory Goodman and we started talking. Someone put us together because he was a D&D player. [Afterwards, Cory] went off to write a whole film around my character Melkor. Just the very fact that I’d be playing a witch hunter speaks to how nerdy I was about the game, how committed I was to D&D because witch hunter [wasn’t a] class by TSR at the time.

The fact that Diesel at least partially inspired his own character is a very good sign. A lot of times, an actor will be contractually obligated to a role without much enthusiasm for it and turn in a lackluster performance as a result (such as Channing Tatum in G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra). With Diesel though, his love for D&D and the witch hunting class could really elevate the material. It certainly helps that one of the film's writers is just as much of a fan of the game as Diesel is. It really is a good sign when the people behind a film are passionate about it, which is something that Hollywood needs more of.

There's not telling yet if the movie will amaze or disappoint. After all, fantasy films are often hit-or-miss nowadays. On the contrary, this film looks like it could be an entertaining romp that fans of witchcraft and urban fantasy could get a kick out of. Consider checking this one out during the Halloween season.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

The Walk Tanked at the Box Office. What Happened?


Before its theatrical release, The Walk seemed to have everything going for it. The dramatized retelling of Philippe Petit's harrowing high-wire act across the Twin Towers seemed like the Imax event of the year. In addition to the star power of lead actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt and director Robert Zemeckis, it received positive early reviews from critics, and the Imax 3D effects were insanely hyped up by the media. Countless stories of people getting severe vertigo during screenings were arguably the film's biggest selling point. BoxOffice.com at one point predicted a $16 million opening. However, any hope of this movie doing well in its wide release was shattered this weekend.

After being released exclusively in Imax 3D on September 30th, The Walk had a wide expansion last Friday. In its first weekend in wide release, The Walk grossed a paltry $3.6 million, making it one of the worst opening weekends of all time for a movie released in over 2,000 theaters.

Just to give you an example of how bad of an opening that was, here are a few notorious flops that had bigger openings than The Walk:

Movie 43 - $4.8 million opening.
Vampire Academy - $3.9 million opening.
Gigli - $3.7 million opening.
Legends of Oz: Dorothy's Return - $3.7 million opening.

All of this just begs the question: what happened with this movie? While there's no way to ask every person on Earth why they didn't see the movie, we can always come up with theories. I recently posted a discussion on Reddit about The Walk's underwhelming performance, and many of the theories presented made a lot of sense.
The 2008 Documentary: Man on Wire.
One theory is that Philippe Petit's story was already adequately told in the documentary: Man on Wire. James Marsh's documentary was one of the most acclaimed movies of 2008, appearing on several critics' top ten lists of the year. One could argue that audiences would rather see the true story (complete with footage of the actual event) told by the people who were actually there instead of a dramatized version of it. Moreover, those unfamiliar with Petit's walk could have had no interest in seeing the movie, as the story may not be notorious enough to be known by the average modern moviegoer.

In addition, while big names like Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Robert Zemeckis are attached to the film, that never necessarily guaranteed getting audiences to come see the movie. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, as good of an actor as he is, isn't as big of a box-office draw as someone like Chris Pratt or Denzel Washington (who starred in Zemeckis' more successful movie Flight). He's had several supporting roles in big movies like The Dark Knight Rises and Inception, but he has yet to headline a big blockbuster movie. It didn't help that his attempt at a French accent in the trailers may have made audiences weary of his performance. Again, audiences may have been more willing to see the documentary with the real Philippe Petit than a movie starring an actor playing him.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt in The Walk
Oddly enough, others say that one of the biggest things that hurt the film was something meant to promote it: the stories of people vomiting in the theaters. Being a movie theater employee myself, I can tell you that audiences are often hesitant to sit through 3D Imax movies because they get nauseous. While The Walk isn't only being shown in Imax as of last weekend, it was heavily promoted as an Imax experience. Those who read headlines like "Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Movie The Walk Is Literally Making People Throw Up," may be even more reluctant to see the movie than they would with other Imax 3D releases. Even those who regularly see Imax 3D movies may give The Walk the cold shoulder at the perceived possibility of vomiting while seeing it. This may be one case when the extra ticket money from Imax 3D sales did nothing to help the film.

There's no way of knowing the real reason why The Walk flopped so badly, but these theories are certainly reasonable. Whether it's the superiority of Man on Wire, or the lack of audience interest, The Walk is another example of a film that tanked badly despite its good critical reception. Hopefully, the movie will fare much better on DVD, and possibly earn a few Oscar nominations. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is still a rising star, and Robert Zemeckis is still a great director, so it's entirely possible that nobody's career will be hurt too badly by this film. Still though, opening with less money than Legends of Oz is quite an unfortunate accomplishment.