I, Frankenstein: Not Worth Reviving

Score: 0.5/5

To say that “I, Frankentein” was a waste of time would be an understatement. Much like “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters,” “I, Frankenstein tries to re-invent a classic tale for the action audience with little success.  Though to be fair, “Witch Hunters” at least had some moments of memorable silliness and creative set pieces. “I, Frankenstein” has neither, nor does it present its audience with decent writing or memorable thrills.

The plot itself is a mangled-up mess and a failed attempt to re-invent Mary Shelly’s classic character. In this film, Frankenstein’s monster (played by the seemingly disinterested Aaron Eckhart) somehow gets involved in an ongoing battle with demons and gargoyles after the events of the classic story. Everything from his backstory to the motivations of the demons and gargoyles is told in rushed exposition and gives absolutely no time for the audience to care about any of the characters.

It doesn't help that the editing and pacing is extremely choppy, often skipping hours and years into the future with no reasonable transition. In the span of what feels like five minutes, the film tells Frankenstein’s backstory, introduces the demons and gargoyles, explains their ongoing war, shows a training montage of Frankenstein learning to use the gargoyle’s weapons, and suddenly cuts from the 18^th century to present day.

The dialogue is beyond terrible, and I actually found myself sitting in the theater predicting the lines the characters would say. Nine times out of ten, I was correct. To all writers out there: it is not a good sign when someone can predict your stale dialogue. 

Now, I’m sure many people can overlook a lackluster script if a movie has “good action.” Unfortunately, this movie fails in this department too. All of the fight scenes are bland and dull with redundant, badly executed CGI. Perhaps the most frustrating example of this is that every time a demon is killed on screen, it turns into a swirling fireball. This effect looked cool for about a minute and it quickly got stale, especially when the demons are dying left and right and the effects start to look like they've been copied and pasted.

It's even worst that the PG-13 rating takes away the possibility of even a little gore to entertain the horror buffs. This is especially a shame because there are some very sleek and polished weapon designs that look like they could have been used for some good ole hack-and-slash fun.

Little effort seems to have been put into this film, and even a big-time star like Aaron Eckhart can’t elevate the material. Here he seems dazed and bored, almost as if this film was just a project to waste some time. In fact, none of the actors seem interested, and with the exception of maybe two awkward line readings, there is nothing to laugh at either.

Like many films released in January, “I, Frankenstein,” comes across as filler and it is not even worth a view on Netflix streaming. Between the poor script, the dull characters and the bad effects, there is next to nothing here worth enjoying. After watching this, I actually appreciated “Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters” more; at least it had some effort put in it.

Final Rating: D-